With well-behaved boyfriend in tow, Valerie Bertinelli presided over 20+ people eating lunch thanks to Ladies’ Home Journal and just, you know, talking. The topics ranged from Bertinelli’s new book, Losing It — And Getting My Life Back One Pound at a Time, to kids, to Spitz, to makeup and hair products, to how many men there were at the table (one of four, thank you very much). Currently, Losing It is number one on The New York Times nonfiction best seller list; the breezy tome is slated for that same slot next week. And I can see why. Bertinelli is frank, incredibly opinionated, yet very easy to like and totally engaging (and, let’s be honest, she’s a total sex bomb, which cannot hurt). Even the bartender at The Beacon, where the luncheon was held, inched closer to the main table, mouth slightly open as Bertinelli weighed in on her son, Spitz’s “bitch,” as she called her, and SPF (15, every day, but wish she’d started sooner).

Click below for highlights and more pics.

Here are some highlights from what actually turned out to be a rather raucous lunch:

- “There’s a part of me that still thinks I don’t deserve all the good things coming at me,” said Bertinelli, who is very down-to-earth about both attention and success.

- Eddie van Halen, Bertinelli’s ex (and father of Wolfie van Halen for whom the book is dedicated), is “not a reader,” said Bertinelli. So, Ed’s current girlfriend read the book and called Bertinelli to tell her that she’s an “inspiration,” adding, “I feel like I’m living your life.” Later, Ed gave a call of congratulations, eventually breaking down in tears. “Ed’s a crier — he’s a good guy,” said Bertinelli.

- To the delight of the Meredith staff present, Bertinelli mentioned that at a book signing in Washington DC, “people were buying it [Ladies' Home Journal] off the rack and having me sign it.” A profile by Judith Newman, who was in attendance and on Bertinelli’s right hand, appears in the current issue of LHJ.

- Asked if she’s every done any other endorsements aside from Jenny Craig, Bertinelli quipped, “my hair is totally gray and you’d never know it. Hair color is my next endorsement.” Kudos to her hair and makeup guru, Cohl Katz, who was in the wings admiring her handiwork. Lisa Carvalho, VP of PR at Maybelline and Garnier, added that Bertinelli “looks like a million bucks” and then accepted Bertinelli’s contact info so she could send her some samples. “I love trying new products,” Bertinelli later said, coyly working the room.

- The topic of the former New York gov was a hot one. “I don’t absolve Elliot Spitzer of any guilt — I think he’s an idiot. But if you’re a woman, and you sleep with a married man, you damage his wife irreparably,” said Bertinelli. “Well, he must have wanted something…different…than what his wife was willing to do…for $4,000…” said Newman, beating around the bush (literally?). Point translated: Maybe Spitz was a perv-o and got off on some wacky sexual shit that his wife put the kaibosh on during what was a mercifully unrecorded moment of awkwardness in the privacy of the Spitz marital bed (”whoa, where do you think you’re going?!”).

- This one speaks for itself: “I care less about Elliot Spitzer’s dick than I do about healthcare,” said Bertinelli. A murmur of this being a “Ladies’” Home Journal luncheon rippled across the table. “I’m not a lady,” Bertinelli responded, “I’m more of a broad.”